The title, a stolen strap line from Andy's Man Club, the message "It's okay to talk..." is more necessary today than ever. That a person can recognise where they are in the moment - the past (been through a storm), the present (going through a storm), the future (have a storm brewing) - are critically important if that person is going to be able to take that first step on the ladder to getting the help they need.
Recognising and acting on a feeling are two very different things. Recognising is in itself an often difficult thing, it's often not obvious to us how incidents past, present and on the horizon might be affecting our behaviour - our mood, our anxiety, our focus - and others who know us may often see these changes first, but not always.
Once we do recognise we have an issue, that we're not functioning properly or at least as we would like, what we think is the issue might not actually be the case. In these moments it can be easier to assert that your job is the problem, that it's the relationship you're in, that it's financial worries. And who knows, maybe that is the case, but there are so many things it could be, things we're hiding from ourselves. If we hide things from ourselves, then we're never going to be able to ask ourselves the right question. Without asking the right question, how can we expect to get the right answer and ultimately, get better?
So what can we do about that?
Family and friends
If you've got a good network of family and friends, it doesn't have to be a big network, they can probably already see you're not yourself. But they can't help you if you don't begin to tell them that you don't feel great. And if one of them approaches you to ask if you're okay, it can be hard to say, "No, I'm not."
It can seem like a massive hurdle, exposing yourself to being vulnerable. It might give you that feeling of not being man enough to deal with a situation yourself. But how many times have you helped someone, listened, chatted, changed someone's mood from melancholy to something better? Probably more than you think. This works both ways.
Support networks
Some people aren't lucky enough to have a family and friends network, or might simply be too scared to say anything. That's okay too. But if you recognise you've got a problem, confused as to what it is but know you've got to deal with it, that knowing has already given you the breakthrough you need.
Where Andy's Man Club provide talking groups, a safe space for men to talk freely when elsewhere in their lives they may not feel able, there are also organisations who offer more acute services, offering a wide range of individual support, such as Platform 1 men's mental health and crisis charity. They're two examples of very different, but hugely valuable organisations. I choose to raise money for Platform 1 because it's ultra-local and I see what they do beyond the talking.
There are of course many more organisations who can help if you're struggling with mental health issues. There is a list here:
A message to employers
I think there is a lot more recognition from employers these days, that they need to make sure their staff are mentally healthy, that there is support available if needed. I know where I work it is something we try to achieve not just through services staff can access directly, but through some of the activities that staff are encouraged to participate in.
I'm sure there is more we can do where I work, but also that some organisations might not even have a fraction of what we have. This is where it's important for employers to look for outside support and guidance. It really is crucial.
It's probably because I'm musically and creatively driven, that I really like what Keep Real do, delivering workshops and talks to NHS staff, universities and festivals, running creative workshops to explore self-awareness through writing. Allowing staff to get creative isn't your traditional approach to developing better mental health, but we are by nature creative beings. We don't have to be shackled by our jobs, and I believe employers can benefit greatly from a more active and creatively minded workforce.
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